Every morning I wake up and begin my day as a stay at home mom. I brush my teeth and dress for the task of chasing kids. I make their breakfast, remembering which one likes waffles cut and which one likes them whole. I distribute vitamins and clean up spills. I pick out clothes and help when an arm ends up in the wrong hole or shoes can't be tied. I plan activities and meals. I schedule doctor visits and remember to replenish school supplies. I hand out snacks and punishments. And, I tend to the boo-boos of the children and their favorite toy friends. I breathe at nap-time and attempt to make some headway on the day's list. I clean up dinner and the dirt of the day. I give baths and medicine and recite prayers at bedtime. I end my day quietly knowing that tomorrow will be just the same yet completely different.
And, I wonder where would I be if I were not right here?
Sometimes I imagine I'm traveling the world learning languages and expanding my culinary pallet. I move with the wind and experience the wonders of the world with my own eyes. I sleep under the stars of a Tuscan sky or toast a new friend in an Irish pub. I watch the lions wake on safari and enjoy a croissant on a cold Parisian afternoon.
Sometimes I imagine the life of a writer in New York City. I sit in a corner cafe and create stories about the lonely person engulfed in the street traffic. I meet friends for lunch and understand what is meant by 'a city that never sleeps.' I allow the city and the moments of my day become the muse of my storytelling.
Sometimes I think about living a life of self sufficiency in the wild of our country. It's a life where I wake before the sun and place my livelihood in God and the earth I work. I pray for rain and use the sweat of the day as a sign of hard work. I share my bounty with my neighbors and look to them for companionship during the roughness that comes with a life of agriculture. I sleep the sleep of the exhausted and wake, again, with the sounds of another day.
Sometimes I imagine my life to be different. Not better, just different. Sometimes I wonder if I had chosen a different path would I wake to the sounds of roosters or fall asleep to the blare of a cab horn? Would I spend my time imagining a chance to experience the life I have now? Or, would I feel complete based solely on the fact that I don't know what I'm missing?
But, when I hear the soft noises of a child sneaking quietly into my bed I know I'm where I need to be. Because, in that moment only an embrace from Mama can make the world okay. And, in that moment I put my imagination to rest because my life isn't such a bad story either.
An original Deep South Moms Blog Post. ChristinaY also writes about her adventures and misadventures in motherhood at
MamaNeena.
